I’m home!

Friday, May 13, 2016.  I’m home.  After 16 days at Weill Cornell Hospital in NYC, under the supervision and care of some of the most wonderful people — literally from the top to the bottom — I am home with my superhuman wife and 3 unbelievable kids.  I decided not to post anything on this blog until I was back in my house in Scarsdale, sitting at my desk on my computer in the comfort of my own home.  And as I sit here, finally putting together the words that I have been thinking about for more than 2 plus weeks, it feels awesome.  It feels awesome to be home.  It feels awesome to really feel alive.  It feels awesome to write this as tears roll down my face.  My wife just said good night to me “live.”  I tucked in two of three of my kids (one is sleeping out).  And my mother-in-law is sleeping down the hall.  You never realize how important the small stuff actually is.    

I have been fortunate to have lived an incredibly blessed life and I have been so humbled the last couple of weeks by the outpouring of support from family and friends whom I have met along the way.  There is guilt at first for failure to have stayed in contact with so many different people that were so important to me over time.  But I have realized that the people that mean the most to you are going to be there for you even when you haven’t been there for them.  For that, I am grateful and honored.     Thank you so much to all of you that have texted, emailed, called and/or come to see me.  I love people and I love talking, and I loved every second of each visit, conversation and email/text reply.      

I plan to use this blog to keep people posted about my progress and quest to get back to 100% health as quickly as humanly possible.  Simply put, I have a lot left to do and this is just a speed bump.  But it is a speed bump that has opened my eyes and sharpened my focused.  It makes you appreciate things that you took for granted just 2 weeks ago.  And it makes you realize that nothing is more important than being surrounded by your family and friends.  So I will use this blog to provide information about my fight against T-Cell Lymphoblastic Lymphoma (see http://www.leukaemia.org.au/blood-cancers/lymphomas/non-hodgkin-lymphoma-nhl/lymphoblastic-lymphoma), tell (at least in my view) some pretty funny stories along the way, and generally let everyone know how close I am to getting back to the court room and lifting weights.

Finally, and while this is obviously something private, my wife Jen is nothing short of amazing.  I still don’t think she is human.  With three kids at home and the biggest of her kids (me) staying in NYC for the last 2 weeks going through regular treatment, the way my wife has handled everything is beyond comprehension.  I am in awe.  I am indebted.  And I am forever in love.  Jen — not sure what I did to deserve you, but I promise there is no way I am ever letting you out my sight.

22 thoughts on “I’m home!”

    1. Drew, don’t forget you are representing the Sussberg’s at the wedding this weekend. That can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Use your best judgment.

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  2. Josh,
    We have never been more proud of you! You are an inspiration to us all! Love you so much!
    Mom & Dad

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  3. I look forward to reading this everyday Josh!! You inspire everyday!! You give us perspective on what is really important in life! Thank you! love you!

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  5. Thinking of you, Josh! Haven’t seen you in so long- I always think of J and all of his friends as little kids… Hard to believe you all are “real adults!” I can’t wait to keep reading as you continue to get healthy! All the very best to you and your family!!!!

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    1. So good to hear from you Vicki. I spoke to Jason last week and he reported that everything is great on your end. Not surprised. Really appreciate the support. Your brother was/is a very special friend. We can jump on the phone after a decade and literally pick-up exactly where we left off. Sometimes mid sentence!

      My best to your family as well. Let’s stay in touch.

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  6. When your family moved to Florida from Ckeveland and you started school with me I was like where did this guy come from. A new kid in a new school and a new town. It took no time for me and tons of others to realize we got a good gift from Cleveland. We became fast friends and mostly because your kick ass personality. Your enthusiasm for everything was evident immediately. Just like back then your personality will help you kick some Lymphoma ass! Been thinking about you since I heard what’s going on and if anyone can fight the fight its you. Your family is beautiful and I am so happy to see the joy you share. Sending love to you and all the Sussbergs! Always here if anything is needed no matter what! You are the type of friend that no matter what time has passed I will always be there to support. Ps. Rabbi Ron what up!!

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    1. So fu*ckin good to hear from you. I really love you Rebecca. You are one of the most special people I have ever come across. You were always comfortable in your own skin. Something that I admired. We hung out a ton with friends during the course of high school, but our special and incredibly unique bond was really forged through Beth El and the fact that we made our temple experience something that I can’t imagine other high school kids could even realize was possible. The Sunday morning classes, the trip to DC, the dude ranch — every single time we got that crew together we had a blast doing nothing important.

      Thank you so much for thinking of me and my family. We are going to kick the shit of this and live a much more meaningful life going forward. And I hope that we can stay in contact and not let another 15 years slip away without being in touch. Please send my best to your entire family.

      Rabbi Ron will be making an appearance soon….

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      1. I’ll give you a call this week sometime! And next time you come down with the kids to Boca it’s my boys against yours in some football!!

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  7. Suss- stay strong. Really looking forward to catching up, meeting your wife (again) as I am sure we met at some point back in the day, and getting the kids together. Love you bro.

    Go RG3!

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    1. Been looking at old Samoset pictures. Man did we have a great time. Can’t wait to get the families together — long over due. And please do know that the entire Sussberg family will be in Philadelphia on NFL opening day to see the re-birth of RGIII. This is the Browns year to make a super bowl run. Just go watch Believeland.

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  8. You’ve always been an inspiration to me Suss. And you are more now than ever. Love you man, thanks for sharing your updates and I have no doubt you’ll get through this.

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  9. Josh,

    I was JUST thinking about you the other day when I came across some old photos from high school, and then I saw your blog get shared on website this morning. My dad was diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma in 2001 – the research and the treatment has come so insanely far in just fifteen years. No doubt you’re going to beat this. I saw him through the highs and the lows and was reminded of them as I read your posts. It’s been a while, but never hesitate to reach out. Please know that I’m thinking of you and your family and that if you ever find yourselves in the Boston area, you all have a place to stay, as long as you leave the ‘Cuse gear at home 🙂

    Hugs,
    Mo

    PS: Let’s go Hoyas (clap clap clapclapclap)! Let’s go Hoyas (clap clap clapclapclap)!

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    1. Monique, I am so sorry to hear about what you had to go through with your father.

      You were always an incredibly strong and extremely talented person. I am so excited and thankful to have heard from you. Even if you are a Hoyas fan!

      Great to hear that you are in Boston. I have relatives there and absolutely love the area. No doubt I will give you a call next time we are in town.

      Would love to see whatever pictures you found — I have been looking through some old ones myself! Thanks so much for reaching out and offering your support. I cannot thank you enough.

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      1. Hey, Josh,
        Hope you’re feeling good today! The photos I was looking at are from people posting stuff on the Spanish River Class of ’96 Reunion Facebook page (I think that is what it is called) in case you or anyone in your family is on Facebook and can check them out. Also, reading your post about feeling distracted made me think of a couple of things that might help but that I don’t want to take up a ton of room on your blog’s comments section with! Shoot me an email (moniquecueto@yahoo.com) and I can send you more info if you want.
        Take care,
        Mo

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        1. Interesting — I will go on Jen’s page and check it out. Hoping that I am going to feel good enough to come down to Florida for the reunion. Got to say the 10 year reunion was a bust. Maybe we can rally the troops and try to get a strong turn out. What the hell, we can use cancer as an excuse.

          Will shoot an email later to your yahoo account. Really appreciate you sharing your thoughts. And being in touch.

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  10. Hey Suss, Just heard about your fight and been thinking about you a lot. It’s been a while, but even through a blog, it’s clear that your positive energy and optimism I loved back in the 90’s at Samoset still thrives. I’d expect nothing different. I see Rhett and Jackie occasionally and of course Teel. I love reminiscing about my Samoset years (93-96). Incredible lifelong memories, and I’m grateful you’re a huge part of them. I miss you and wish you the very best in this new phase. I’ll continue to read this blog for updates. Very appreciative of your willingness to keep us in the loop.

    Jeff Stone

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    1. So great to hear from you Jeff. Went through a ton of old boxes last week and would you believe my mother saved everything from camp? From wrestling cards, to color war shirts, to trophies to pictures. Everything. And I have had the chance to reconnect with so many different people from camp that were so important to making every one of the those summers better than the one before it, including an hour conversation with Arthur earlier this week from 2-3 am! Man did we have a blast at camp.

      Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing these wonderful thoughts. And very much appreciate you reading the blog and providing your support.

      My oldest is getting ready to go to camp in a few weeks (Takajo) and I have been thinking long and hard about my upcoming Samoset blog post. Looking forward to talking about one of the most important places in my life.

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